How to get away from shaking hands at work and other occasions

1.       As they come towards you, bend down and tie your shoes while saying hi to them (make sure to untie both laces!)

2.       When danger is imminent, remove your cell phone and run of quickly nodding your head at them, acting like you are calling your buddy or wife (Note: the other hand needs to be in your pocket, or doing something “important.”)

3.       Wave your hands from far away as you walk away in fast pace, acting like something critical needs to be done.

4.       At the food table, get your hands busy and sticky with food, then apologize for not being able to shake hands (since you really wanted to shake hands with them.)

5.       When you are getting introduced step back and keep staring at your introducer(i.e. avoiding eye contact), until the “shaking-hands” moment goes away.

6.       Spread rumors that you have invisible contagious skin disease (unfortunately this is haram.)

7.       Yell and say “I don’t want to shake your hands” (not recommended.)

8.       Take a bathroom break once you realize that a new opposite sex individual is arriving from the eye sight.

9.       Stick hands deeply & hard in your pockets for at least 5 seconds. Then nod your head as to say hello & hope that they’ll get the point.

10.   Put hand on chest & nod your head. Realize that your hands have to be on your chest right away. Otherwise, if you wait then stick your hands out, they’ll think you want to shake hands.

11.   If you get caught by surprise, sneeze very hard on your hands then apologize as you make your way to the sink.

12.   If it is too late and their hands are right in front of your face, make a joke and say “in my culture, we put hands on chest” (make sure to laught). If you look American, then you’re  screwed.